


i don't want to leave

by hanleiasolo



Series: what never changes feels most new [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, One Shot, Post-Reynolds Pamphlet, but its a typical lovers meeting again thing, i picture this happening in new york city but, so enjoy, the one where alexander and eliza actually divorced, whatever busy city works
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-07
Updated: 2016-09-07
Packaged: 2018-08-13 18:34:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7981855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanleiasolo/pseuds/hanleiasolo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She couldn’t find the will to be in his life after he had done what he did. But she still loved him. And she told him that repeatedly too. And that is what broke his heart. The fact that he had hurt the only important person in his life so deeply that she just couldn’t be with him anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i don't want to leave

**Author's Note:**

> this is weird and different for me and i've never written a ham fic before but imagine if ham and eliza did divorce and then one day they suddenly meet on the street again? idk but thank u for reading and enjoy. follow my tumblr @falloutswift for other fic related stuff and just shitposting in general

He sees her years later, casually walking down the street. He freezes in the middle of the sidewalk, angering the people behind him. They shove past him, grumbling about how much of an idiot he was. He didn’t care. He saw her. Fuck,  _ he _ saw  _ her _ . And she looked  _ beautiful _ . Her black hair is flowing effortlessly down her back and the dress she has on moves with every step she takes and she’s walking with Angelica, her sister, and Angelica, her daughter, down the street and they’re talking and laughing. He misses her. Eliza. 

They’re walking the same way, opposite directions, shopping bags flooding their hands. He quickly looks away and ducks into the closest door he can find. A Starbucks, for God’s sake. He keeps his back carefully facing the window, so they don’t see him. He’ll give it a few minutes to make sure they pass before he goes back out and on with his day. He’s supposed to be headed to his office. He’s hiding from his ex-wife in a Starbucks instead. People pile in after him. He loses count of how many times he has to say, “I’m not in line.” 

Eliza. Betsey. Left him. She didn’t want to be apart of his life anymore. A narrative, she had called it. She had grown effortlessly tired of being in the media after the hurricane he created. The headlines everyday were all some variant of “His Poor Wife.” Stuck with the kids while he was whoring away with some twenty-something year old. He made a whole shit show out of it. He wrote a sob story in his phone’s Notes app and screenshot it and posted it on Twitter. He exposed Maria Reynolds and the supposed tragedy that had happened and just  _ waited _ . He called it The Reynolds Pamphlet. He made himself the hero while simultaneously ruining Maria and Eliza’s lives.

She didn’t want to leave. She repeated those words all throughout the process. “I don’t want to leave,” she whispered that first night. The night she found out. She was terrified and angry and mortified over what he had done. 

“I don’t want to leave,” she muttered while packing up her clothes to leave. She had to clear her head. She took the kids with her. She went back upstate with them. 

“I don’t want to leave,” she screamed at him when she came back. Alone. “I just need a break.” She took the rest of her stuff with her. She left her wedding band on. 

“I don’t want to leave,” she said while handing him the divorce papers. She still loved him. She just couldn’t bare to look at him. She couldn’t find the will to be in his life after he had done what he did. But she still loved him. And she told him that repeatedly too. And  _ that _ is what broke his heart. The fact that he had hurt the only important person in his life so deeply that she just couldn’t be with him anymore. 

He loved her too. He wanted to make her happy. He signed without a fight. 

All of her words rang in his head still, years later. The ones that rang the most were her screaming at him to take a break. He should have taken that break. He should have tried to get away. 

And now there she is, and he doesn’t know how to even breathe. 

A few minutes have passed now. They must be gone by now. He should be safe now to go outside again. He won’t run into them. 

As soon as he turns to walk out, though, they spot each other. Eliza is looking at Alexander. Alexander is looking at Eliza. She gasps and he quickly averts eye contact and scoots the other way. He feels a hand grasp his wrist, though. 

He tries to tug and pull away, but the grip is too strong. He looks back at who is holding his wrist. He shouldn’t be surprised when it’s Eliza. Just Eliza.

He didn’t have time to think of where the Angelicas could have gone or what the hell he was going to say to Eliza as she pulled him to the side of the sidewalk. They both stared at each other, helpless. He was at a loss for words. She kept opening her mouth to say something, just to close it again. They just looked at each other. 

Her hand slowly released his wrist and their hands effortlessly fell into each others. It felt like old times. It felt right. In that moment, suddenly nothing was wrong and they were in the crowded Winter Ball where the met. Or they were standing hand in hand on their wedding day. Or when Philip was born and she squeezed his hand so tightly. Or when Angelica was born. And so forth. Or the other numerous times they had held hands and they were happy and in love. 

But then he remembers where they are now and has to forget where they started. He has to remember what he did. 

“Eliza,” he breathed. 

“Alexander.” The name came out of her mouth methodically, in syllables. He missed the sound of it. He missed the way her hand felt in his. She was swift to move her hand out of his, though. Escaped just as quickly as she did out of his life. 

But she didn’t want to leave. 


End file.
